Tuesday, January 26, 2010
at 9 weeks 3 days
First of all, this is the most amazing experience I have ever had in my life. Sounds cliche, unless you yourself have experienced it. My husband and I went to my ultrasound appointment last Thursday (January 21, 2010). The picture above is my little bean. During the ultrasound I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It was like a giddy, intoxicated, joyful, and uncontrollable laughter. And Ryan was laughing and crying at the same time. I was amazed to see the little bean moving and totally in awe of the sound of the strong and loud heartbeat. The feeling I had looking at the screen was so intense that it made me have that butterfly-in-my-stomach feeling. It's like this intimate, wild, awe-struck, overwhelming, emotional rollercoaster-ride. It made me think of how miraculous new life is. It's still so hard to describe the feeling. It took me a few days to get this post out there because I've been so tired lately. Not just tired but absolutely exhausted. I've never felt so drained by anything in my entire life - darn progesterone hormone! I am having a hard time being inspired by anything lately. My focus has been totally on my pregnancy. I'm excited to go to NYC this weekend where I'll get some creative juices flowing by looking at some art! I hope that I can still tote my little baby around Chelsea when he/she is born. That baby is going to be exposed to art at a very early age! I am going to love my baby with all the love in this world. I already look so adoringly at that little fuzzy ultrasound picture. It's the best thing in my life at the moment. I can't believe I waited so long for this. All because of money. Stupid. I'm still freaked out by how things are going to work out financially because Ryan lost his job and took a massive paycut but we'll do whatever we have to do to make it work. Our lives will never ever be the same! :) I feel like now I have a little glimpse into what is really important in life. And my eyes are turning off of myself a little more each day.
...and this little picture below is not my baby but I found this 3D ultrasound picture (I did NOT have a 3D ultrasound) and it's at 9 weeks the same stage I was when I had mine done. It's just a neat reference point. (found on Pregnancy Weekly website)
This journey is filled with so many ups and downs and I told my friend the other day that I feel like I'm all strapped in on a rollercoaster ride. There is no getting off so I might as well enjoy the ride no matter how scared I am. I wouldn't trade this for the world!