Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day.

(Video seen HERE)
May you feel the great love of the Divine. No other love is as complete, secure and real. It breaks through social and cultural boundaries. And only when we truly experience this love can we truly love another.

The Divine has been working on me. I've been realizing that He wants me to just "let go" and abandon myself to the trials life has brought my way. Resisting doesn't work. that's definitely an option. :)

Earlier today, while taking a bite of crispy tofu dipped in spicy chili sauce, I realized something. This wonderful friend that I'm having lunch with is in my life for a very special reason. Art and good food originally brought us together but deeper we have a common bond...the Divine. Life is about so much more than working to pay the bills and to appear like we have it all together. There are seasons in life that don't make sense at the time but it's something that you really needed to grow into the person that you were meant to be. For example the bible college that I went to was definitely not all that I hoped it would be and failed me in many ways but I met my wonderful, compassionate husband there. Later going to college for Visual Communications/Graphic Design failed to live up to all that I thought it was going to be and is actually closing it's doors. But I met a wonderful (life-long) friend there. She is the dear friend that I am having lunch and revelatory bliss with today. There is a theme going on in my life right now and the people that I'm connected to are only confirming it. I realized that I'm 30 years old and being halfway to 60, I'm re-evaluating my life. What are my priorities? Am I making a difference in society? Whose life am I making better? And the answers to those questions are not satisfying to me. I think when life shakes you due to loss in some way it's easier to think about the kinds of things that are for the most part uncomfortable. I'm at the point where if I lost everything material in my life or God-forbid had to declare bankruptcy or something crazy like that I think I'd be okay. America has it backwards. We think that by obtaining more stuff we'll be happier when in fact the more we acquire the less happy we are because the more we see that we have yet to have. It's a never ending pursuit. And one that leads down a road of greed, debt or even something so drastic as the mistreating of others. Life should be about the opposite. But why is it so hard to give? Giving is better than receiving, so they say. It's easy to give a little. $20 here. $10 there. You know, the little excess that you have or when it's convenient. I wish I was one of those people who are completely debt free and could just go and help people in a third-world country or spear-head a non-profit organization to help empower someone who would suffer otherwise. The Divine has brought me to this place. A place of wonder. Wonder of what's next? How can my husband and I turn this negative situation of him losing his job into something that ends up being better for us and better for others in the long run. We are open to the possibilities to what's next. What does the Divine want our lives to look like? It's a place of peace and security when the world might think that we are actually very insecure. But I feel otherwise. I know that everything will turn out better and this is actually a blessing in disguise. I'm excited for what the future holds. I'm not sure how everything will pan out but one thing I'm certain of is that I'm safe and secure. I can confidently trust in the One who breathed life into my being and the One who spoke the universe into being.
I'm safe.
Psalm 37:25
I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.

this song makes me want to lead worship again. :)

Thank you to my BBB who sent a "hope" necklace to me in the mail this week. It is a symbol that means so so so much to me!!!


carolyn said...

aww nici what a beautiful entry. i can't tell you how good it is to see you getting to such a peaceful place. wasn't it funny how much of Fight Club related to what we were talking about too? you know, in a twisted way but the parallels were still there. didn't plan that!

keep letting go sweetie :)

(and thanks again for the shirt loan - it was tough but i managed to NOT get any karachi dal all over it)


JLM said...

I am glad you love it!
I am glad we both have ours to wear! I love that you loved it! :) hehe! Very good post, I missed your blogs! xoxo. Love you!